just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
you made out with another girl for some wings
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
