At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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