I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
