I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
