Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
