I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
