Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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