i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Sorry my hands just texted you
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
