My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I am one with the molecules
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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