That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
