So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
