you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Damn victory sex feels great
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
