Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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