If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
