Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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