dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
