Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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