I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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