i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
This baby is an asshole
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'm both gender and math confused
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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