Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Green mimosas i think yes
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Let's get the cat blown out
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
