i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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