Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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