I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
