My brain says no but my pants say off.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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