Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
