like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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