I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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