His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
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