we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
