Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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