You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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