At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
