after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
NoShamevember. You game?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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