we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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