when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
