put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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