I've blown a few things in my day
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
