i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
