Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
