I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
