So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
