oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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