i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
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