Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
