quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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