Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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