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• (702): View more from Nevada

  I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world

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• (407): View more from Florida

  Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch

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• (+54): View more from

  hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it

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• (941): View more from Florida

  She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen

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• (716): View more from New York

  I just had all of the sex. All of it.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.

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• (315): View more from New York

  He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.

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