I think i sorta joined a cult last night
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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