dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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