Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
