Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
