one might say we're banned from that church
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
